A Rant

Here's the story of Rafe and the dodgey babysitter.

It was the "long" day at the Husbands conference - babysitter booked from 7.15am - 3pm, 33degree day, hotel overlooking gorgeous beach and pool. Boyos had had about 5 days/evenings in a row with different sitters.

Just setting the scene

So The Dodgey Sitter turns up. Did she have a plan for the day? nup. Could she take them to the pool? nup The beach? nup, too risky. OK, it was going to be a long day. We left and even The Husband commented that she didn't look up for it. We'd suggested a stroll in the local square, park, maybe subway for lunch - just to give them some fresh air before Smith needed to sleep in the afternoon. She had our numbers.

Lunch break at conference, a friend asked if we'd heard about Rafe? Rafe and the police station? Rafe being lost on a busy street and the police station? We'd been checking our phone and not a word. We rushed back (some of us in tears). Dodgey babysitter sitting watching TV while Smith slept, kids in another room. She did a beautiful job of apportioning blame to our 4 and 7 year old, she wasn't to blame, our 4 year old wouldn't hold her hand.

FOR A REASON PROBABLY DODGEY BABYSITTER.

She couldn't have probably heard him getting lost as she had HER IPOD ON TOO.

Anyhow having left the 7 and 2 year old with strangers, she eventually found him in the police station, thank goodness, although was too dithery to actually know his name (and hadn't thought to carry the paper with their names, ages, our contact details with her).

She had no intention of disturbing us and telling us our son had been lost and then spent some time at the poice station.

The Husband had a few words with her, she couldn't believe how we'd treated her.

She wrote us a note - blaming our 4 year old for getting lost. Not his fault that she didn't call us though. Beautiful.

I rang the agency, they supported her and once again blamed my 4 year old. Did someone miss the fact that he is 4?

I asked Rafe - were you scared? Yes. Did you cry? yes. Alot? Yes. he's now terrified of getting lost - at least he stays a lot closer to me now though.

Show's over folks.

Where is Flora?

Phone calls scheduled, work planned, kids ready for new nanny, but ...where is Flora, our new nanny? 40 mins late and...still no Flora. Then the phone call. Flora was bussing (!) to our house and got lost and 2 hours later was about 10km and two buses away from us. She rang and said she'd walk. I said, don't and call me later. We chatted, she was lovely and asked for one more shot. I need someone who can drive, preferably their own car. So why am I giving a brazilian who can't speak english well enough to get on the right bus, and who hasn't got an Australian drivers licence (or car), and who doesn't turn up, another shot?

Maybe it was the double handshake or maybe it was the shaky tears on the phone at the bus stop. One more pointless shot, but have already decided to go back to the drawing board. I think.

The scheduled phonecalls to the charities were made with success even with Bob the Builder playing loudly on the computer in the background.

Trinny's Kitchen

I love Trinny and Susannah, and having just accidently realised that after a year of Foxtel (Sky/cable/or whatever), we actually DO have the lifestyle channel with all those wonderful Rick Stein, Changing Room, House Swap'ish type of programmes, I now love to watch Trinny and Susannah and both me (and The Husband) have been known to shed a wee tear during it. All the girls in NZ went to a Trinny type of person who transformed them with just perfect clothing choices, took them shopping and basically wrote their own set of rules so they all dressed beautifully and appropriately. However as I was still feeding Smith , and my boobs were 3 times the sad size they are now, I never went to her. And then we shifted. Although I think I would have been someone who reverted from the eg bright cerise florals that I'm supposed to wear, to the anything blacks, that I prefer to wear. So now I still wear inappropriately styles and colours (but lets face it how wrong can you be with shorts).

So happily watching Trinny and Susannah tonight with my low fat yoghurty icecream (which The Husband had great pleasure in revealing that it actually had 22% sugar - sigh), they cut to a scene in Trinny's kitchen.

And she had a big pile of paper on her kitchen bench.
Just like me.

So not only is she stylish and gorgeous, but she has kind of said - "it's ok to have that big pile of paper on your bench, I do! You don't have to try and sort it"

Thank goodness for Trinny.

Just a wee note about wardrobe malfunctions - double sided tape. My lovely wee glittery long cardigan thingee I wore at the conference would have been the epitome of indiscretion, if it hadn't been cemented in place by my new found friend, the double sided tape. As would my black evening dress. Bless.

The Table Cloth Lady - well Trinny where do we start (kidding!!! you looked gorgeous!).

I actually have been working, suprisingly. I'll fill you in tomorrow.

Sue, Anne and Sandys

This wasn't just The Husbands work conference, this was also the "Sue, Ann and Sandy" conference, or maybe the "Michael and Craig" conference, as every other person seemed to have this name. And as this was my first time meeting all of these people the risk factor for social blunder was high. And sure enough after only 40 minutes into the event, when having a lovely drink with a conference couple, I tried a tentative "Absolutely, Ann", then moved confidently on. Later in the evening, I realised, my Ann was a Sue.

And she knew it.

I'm back!

Where do I start? Should I start with the social blunders, or the 7 days of eating and drinking, or the wonderful people I met - hi Table Cloth Lady!!!!, or the time Rafe ended up in the police station, after his dithery old bag of a baby sitter lost him (and then never told us).

So much material.

Offline

We're heading to Adelaide for The Husbands work conference for a week so will start posting next week, no doubt with stories of social blunders, wardrobe malfunctions, and extreme parenting - which is usually the case for me at these things!

Chat soon x

Flora

I decided to give my brazillian nanny applicant a shot.
Flora.
Quick efficient e-mail contact, an OK resume, and a bit of a gut feel. She was also prepared to work for a bit less then the 35 year old mum with accompanying 3 year old.
So she popped around today, with another brazillian friend, also young, gorgeous and well... brazillian.

Flora was devine. Lovely with the kids and just a happy, smiley person. There are plenty of down sides compared with the text book version of a perfect nanny. She can't drive (!) ...yet....or at least on the right side of the road...., she needs to catch a bus to my house (!!) - ok, not my problem, but really?
But she was lovely! I'm wanting her just for 2 half days - Smith still sleeps in the afternoon (apart from today because after 30 mins of yelling "Mum" from his room, he finally said "mum, yuck, poo", and yup, there was poo all over his bed, somehow), so it's not that bigger deal. I think the problem with my last nanny was she was at our house too long, she'd got a bit sick of the boys, and they'd got sick of her by the time home time rolled around. Also she texted lots while playing cars, and I think that sin is really just reserved for the mums.
So my brief to Flora was just to have fun with the boys and keep them happy as well as the odd bit of house stuff (folding!!!!), and a trip to the local playground or park at the top of the street to kick balls around every now and again.

And the real decider for me...when we shook hands Flora covered my hands with hers. Lovely.
Flora...she could be a keeper.
What do you think?

Pokeman

Firstly, why am I writing this? I have a gift of an hour or so before Dan calls me for our fortnightly "mentoring" session - today talking about something exceedingly boring on my website, and my big boys are at the movies with my amazing friend Kristin who must have been in a masochistic mood to take 4 kids to Alvin and the Chipmunks at the mall. Moo is asleep, so it should be all noise on the work front.
But no, a quick post. And then work.
This will mean not much to you unless you have a 7 year old, or a child likely to turn 7 at some stage, preferably a boy.
Will has fallen under the pokeman spell. I've always disliked Pokeman with an intense passion for no particular reason, so as fate would have it, Will has gravitated to them. To me, there is nothing slightly educational about them and they just reek of computer games and bad graphics. Anyhow, that hasn't deterred him, and in my parental objective of helping my children "blend" at school, I've bought him a stack of cards. Problem being he stands and talks AT me about how who's got how much HP and who "evolves" into who. Will has a fabulous memory, so the detail is, well, exceptionally detailed. If he understood body language, he would have realised the film that glazes The Husband and my eyes and the wanting-to-bolt-any moment stance, is for real.
Blending strategy number 2, Will has used a wee MacDonalds toy as a wannabe Gameboy and takes it to his friends quite happily, he's never asked for a real computer game. He had an amazing year at school, especially considering the shift so we bought him a Nintendo DS as a reward. And a freaking Pokeman game (and they are NOT cheap).
Our Pokeman mania is intensifying. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I've decided to actually listen for a change as it's not often my little guy has such passion for something.
So shall I share my pokeman learnings or do you want to go through the above process yourselves?
Righto, false alarm, Moo is NOT sleeping. There goes my work window.

Storms

By now, you'll know that I love a good storm. Yesterday we were at Cronulla beach (infamous for racial riots a couple of years ago) - gorgeous day, fabulous beach, but HOT - we sat happily under only our best purchase for the summer, a beach umbrella, avoided the super hot sand and people watched - an amazing ethnic mix. And the best part of the day was finding a car park - I've even got used to asking people if they're leaving a park and then waiting parked in the middle of the road, blocking traffic while the car exiting MY park packs all their stuff away, dusts sand down, rearranges their undies, gets the kids snacks, then eventually leave and I'm oblivious to what's going on behind me. I've found a park!

So we're heading home and we can see that exciting bluey, purpley sky developing - there's a storm brewing. When we get home, the storm arrives, and a welcome relief for the heat too. I wait, I'm keen for a run. I hear the storm moving north, sweet I think and I head out down a new unchartered bush track. As we're still at the tail end of a storm I decide against the ipod.
Good move.
Storms, apparently, don't head in the one direction. Storms can actually be quite random.
I hear the thunder coming back, I start to count the seconds (ie distance) between lightening and thunder. D'ouh, storms coming right back at me. I'm in the bush. I'm actually not quite sure where I am. It's 6.30pm at night. And I'm out in a storm.
For the second time in a week, I have to back track on my run. Only this time I'm doing it very quickly and a lot more nervously.

I love a good storm, I just don't like running in them.

Road Blocks

So after the drama of the bubble gum incident when I met Discount Dan, I haven't really said how it went. The reality is, Dan is a salesman and probably a very clever, smart talented man, but he wanted my business and he may have "smoothed" over some troublesome issues for me with the occasional, gentle "don't worry about that, we'll sort it for you", "you don't need to work that out, we will" etc etc in order to get my business. Of course, blinded by a world I'm unfamiliar with and that's completely terrifying to me, I was woo'ed by these comforting words.

So we're sitting in some hotel lobby during our pre-christmas Sydney meeting, me with my dress gaping and the wrong colour underwear on, subtley pushing my shopping bags under my chair, and it took me a good 15 mins to actually start to listen first to the waffle and then the additional sales pitches.
Suddenly I was hearing what was rapidly becoming a dreaded road block. Dan had assumed I would manage the business in a particular, hands on, high risk way.

Getting into gear, I told me, no way, that's a big road block to me, he gave me more sales pitching to try and divert me, but I was already transitioning from naive, slightly gullable to taking more control. He didn't pick up on this but his offsider (a cool young guy wearing shorts and jandals - I could have avoided the bubblegum wardrobe malfunction and worn my own choice of corporate shorts!), did and smoothed the road with some comforting, rational words that made sense.

Lesson for me is - this is my project, we have paid for it, I am in control of it, it is my responsibility. So I have set some ground rules with my project team - no surprises, lets get how heads loosely in the same place about all the business processes and not leave anything to the end to sort. No matter how uncomfortable it will be, I need the comfort of the detail, and I do need to upskill on the hard stuff.

So Dan and I are now discussing, not chatting about this particular road block. I have asked for working sessions (by phone) not chit chatty ones.

My project, my way now.

Childcare

I have just had a great morning working - finally! And all courtesy of 14 year old Keith from next door. He was so awesome that Rafe cried when he left - he had energy, he did fun things with the kids, he looked out for them and he even gave Will some of his old Pokeman cards.

Short term solution only though! So how can I get more hours in my week - I've gone back to the drawing board on the nanny front after Elise from last year gave in her notice due to uni hours etc (or maybe it was coz of my kids?). I have Smith in an occasional year place which works along the lines that you ring up at say Monday 8.30am for the following Monday - sounds very stressful and extremely unreliable (8.30am is never the calmest time of day for me, or one where I can sit with my phone on redial).

But I need a top up.

So I've advertised for a "mothers help" - in the hope that maybe I wouldn't have to pay $20AUD an hour again. No replies.

Tried "Mothers help/Nanny". One reply from a Brazillian in Coogeee - other side of the bridge, a good 60 mins drive away....and brazillian, thinking gorgeous, tanned, flowly long hair and one of those bikinis that i've never been able to wear

Tried Nanny - got a 35 year old chef who said she'd drop from $25 to $20 per hour as long as she could bring her 3 year old with her, and it was cash.

What should I do? I'm bringing in no cash and as The Husband has repeatedly pointed out - "we need to reign in our spending". There are no other day care options for Smith. Would you employ someone with a child (who could actually play with my kids) or is my sample of 2 replies to small to call it yet?

Anyone?

New Years Stuff Part 3

... and return all my kids library books before the due date
... and not lose any
... and not have to buy copies of the lost ones on e-bay to take back to the library

New Years Stuff Part 2

and I am going to...

reply to e-mails almost straight away
open the mail and file stuff
not have a pile of paper and stuff always on my bench
claim all my medicare receipts..finally
feed my children less crap
work out how to use my digital camera properly
change the songs on my ipod
get a new lampshade so we have a pair that match in our bedroom
put my clothes away that are in a pile on my bedroom chair
play trains again
play cars again
actually listen to my 7 year old when he tells me about how much "HP" each Pokeman card has
...........

Wildlife

Since moving to Sydney I have had more encounters with wild life than ever thought possible in NZ. There's been the huntsman spider incident (which sauntered across my hand when putting the rubbish in the bin one day), the many ant invasions, BIG COCKROACHES, the very traumatic maggot incident (forever ingrained in my memory - I'll do a wee post about it one day - may help the Post Traumatic Stress), andmy resident possums which run loudly across our roof each night and crap all over our backyard - I even have a possum-crap broom!

Now a new wild life encounter for me is Magpies - freaking predatorial, savvy, dangerous, hunt-in-pack magpies.

So I'm out having a lovely jog one evening, loud music playing on my wannabe-ipod thing, running through the gorgeous bush tracks that our house borders, when I come across a pack of magpies, they EYEBALL me, I stop, we face off, they start cawing or screeching in a we-are-about-to-attack way. I can't believe I'm going to have to do this, but I do...I actually back away turn around and go back the excruiatingly long way I've just come. I did not feel like having my head pecked by a pack of magpies on their home turf. So now added to my list of things to avoid when running along with dodgy looking people and all dogs, are... magpies.

2008

Christmas is a memory, I've accepted that I have squandered the last week at the beach and doing holiday stuff rather than work stuff, but a new page has turned, it's officially the start of the work year for me. The Husband and I are taking turns at the computer getting things moving again. It's time to start. I'm getting organised. I'm on the charge. There is so much to do, least of all making a plan rather than just tackling things randomly, as I've kind of been doing in a semi-organised way. The web site is moving too slowly and most of all it's my fault, as the reality is, I am the one needing pretty much to do all the work. I no longer have my nanny and I need some child care arrangement. (especially as Rafe has just switched off the power cable to my computer!)
Can you sense my panic?

So what is 2008 about just to get on the right page.....

Being an awesome, happy mum who plays with her kids - even if it is cars and trains for the 3rd time around
Being a fabulous wife
Being a happy, healthy, fit me and feeling fantastic about myself
Launching the business
Being a good friend, making good friends and keeping in touch
Being organised

All totally do-able.

So if you get a chance, read my posts, see how I'm doing on all these fronts (coz you know I'll always tell you!) and if you get a spare mo', drop me a line, it's always nice to hear from you!

Righto, lets go.