OK, I know you're all over Mothers Day, the Sunday papers with articles about celebrity mothers and their mothers, the endless stream of bloggers blogging about mothers day (ahem), the fact that mothers day should really be renamed Mothers Half Day (as my one seems to end with the "what should we have for lunch" chant), so that's why I've left my own ramblings until now. Actually it may have had something to do with a garage to be emptied in preparation for our move in 2 weeks time, and 3 school projects to be completed, and an early morning airport trip? But I'm here now.
So the Sister and I lost our Mum when I was 28 and the Sister was 31. That's many Mothers Days experienced as motherless daughters. Thankfully our mum met my baby nephew before she died, but sadly didn't see him grow into the awesome young man he is today. She missed meeting my beautiful niece by 2 years to the dot, and never met my 3 crazies. She did see me get married, but it turns out it wasn't to quite the right husband. She missed seeing my second wedding, but she would have loved it, so much more her scene rather than my first. She never saw my father fall madly and happily in love, which is probably a good thing for all. And she never saw the lovely funeral, complete with all her touches that the Sister, our father and me steadfastly put together through our grief. She would have loved it.
She never got to travel to see her sister in Canada but she did get to travel to Hong Kong to spend alcohol soaked holidays with her other sister. She even took new local potatoes to Hong Kong. Who does that? I bet she tried to smoke in the toilets on the plane or at least think about it. If anyone was to thumb there nose to rules, it was Mum.
But she never went anywhere else in the world, apart from Australia, even though she read widely and knew more about the countries I visited than I did. Her life was too confined in my hometown, but she was too hindered by her health and herself to see the places she might liked to have. We shudder to think about what would have happened if she did, I think the Sister or I would have needed to travel with her as her minder to stop her getting thrown into a foreign prison, rules, schmules Mum would have thought.
My friends Leonie and Sally are currently treking to Everest Base Camp. I'm so excited for them. The night before they left, with only hours to go, they were on Facebook, too nervous too sleep. I asked Leonie if she'd build a teeny cairn for our Mum at Base Camp. I've built cairns before on many other times and places but never as incredible as Base Camp. I was so humbled that with so much to do and so many other thoughts on her mind, she agreed, then took time to find out about mum.
Our mum LOVED big skies and rough weather and will be so so happy to have made a tiny mark in the Himalayas somewhere. I'm in debt to my generous friends for this gift. I love that there's a little bit of our Mum somewhere where she'd never to have got to.
Thanks to a whole lot of kindness our Mum will be celebrated this Mothers Day in such a unique and perfect way.
How do you celebrate your mum and not just on Mothers Day?
What a lovely tribute to your mum, my older sister Lesley. When I was a wee girl, I looked up to her so much. I look back and remember funny things, sad things, angry things and wonderful things.
ReplyDeleteFunny things include pinching apricots from the neighbours tree, but we weren't pinching, they were on our side of the fence!! Our dad putting the wooden spoon on the table as a "warning"...Every Sunday our dad would say, "Now show your appreciation for the lovely Sunday dinner by doing the dishes without fighting. Sad things, like watching our mum plaiting your mom's hair into such tight braids, her eyebrows were permanently raised! My precious older sister sending me back every letter, photo and card because she didn't want me to be her sister anymore..... Wonderful things like I was being bullied at school and my two sisters, Lesley and Claire, moving in on the bullies, and telling them "not to mess with the Treloar girls!! Love to you Lisa, and Margot. Your Aunty Judy in Canada. XXXXXX
Hi Judy, thanks so much for these memories, there must be so much that we don't know about mum that you do. And I can't imagine Grandy raising his voice at his girls who he adored so much, not for one minute! Love to you too, thank goodness for Facebook and it's powers of reconnecting those who need to be reconnected xxx
DeleteVery sweet Lise. Lesley was such an eccentric, funny, quirky and interesting lady. I loved the way she was so different to any other mum. You have so much to thank her for babe. That cairn will be so precious. Becs xxx
ReplyDeleteOh thanks honey bunny, you always understood my crazy mum and had a soft spot for her, and I'll always be grateful to you for that. Love you xxx
DeleteLost my mum last year after watching her diminish for years in a nursing home with alzheimers. Lot Dad 5 yrs ago to a sudden and aggressive cancer. My Mum loved to party and hated rules too. She refused to stand in the RSL on Remembrance Days because she thought war was a waste of young men, who she loved. There are many family stories that have died with our parents and none of their siblings are alive to tell us about them. Remember your family stories and pass them on.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Becci, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum. She sounded like a real character and you must love the memories you have but lordly what wise wise words about keeping the family stories alive before those that have them are no longer.
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