Although I've always promised to never blog about my family, one of my parents had/has bad feet (there I haven't dobbed them in so I don't feel too guilty). I'm lucky enough to have been genetically gifted this as well.
It doesn't help that my feet are as wide as they are long. Nor that when I was in my 20's I ran down a steep hill in an inebriated state to "find more wine", wearing my boyfriends huge shoes, and fell over breaking my toe. And then proceeded to dance on it all night once I'd stopped crying and "found more wine". The toe nail has never, ever been the same.
It also doesn't help that I spent the good part of 6 months walking on taped and sore feet as training for the Oxfam 100km Trailwalker. Nor that I've spent the past few months running regularly.
My feet are pretty blimmin ugly right now. Toe nails are threatening to fall off, scabby scaley feet have been cultivated carefully. It's a formula that I can't mess with now with only a week to go until my big run.
But what is of more concern is a big googly growth thingee starting to appear on one of my feet. I mentioned it to The Sister, who shocked me into silence by saying "yee...sss, I did notice that, but then Nana used to get bad bunions as well". WTF? Bunions? They are for Nana's. Not young...ok, people in their mid 40's.
"No, mine feels like solid bone, I don't think it's a bunion". But have I googled it yet? No way. Sometimes it's kinder to not confront reality.
I needed to buy a pair of new trail shoes for my run, so I was in the running shop, getting myself kitted up and I said to the nice looking fit young guy serving me "So I have incredibly wide feet, and on this foot I have a googly thing, so I need a really wide pair of shoes". He replied, "Ok, so we need something that can fit your foot and the bunion". I choked.
"I prefer to call it my "googly thing" thanks", and I'm tempted to take my business elsewhere but I won't because I'm too embarassed, and it's not a freaking bunion, it's a bone growth, ok?.
And if I ever, EVER catch any of you people who see me on a daily basis in my thongs looking at my feet and especially my (gulp) bunion, I will...umm, ....rub my bunion on you so you catch one. Be warned!
postscript: sorry that was a bit gross and unnecessary. But I will you know!
ahahahahahahahahaha thanks for the chuckle!! I think I have one too! We're bringing bunions back girlfriend! Bunions are the new blister! Mwah xx
ReplyDeleteLaughing! Bunion is just such an old person word, isn't it? I'd go with the googly thing too.
ReplyDeletePS: my feet, after spending the better part of my youth doing ballet, are best never seen in public.
Visiting via the REwind.
I think it is time you tried bare-foot running. Have you seen FiveFingers? I think we need to invent a new, far cooler word for bunion/googly thing. Could it be the only word that rhymes with onion? Thanks for joining the Weekend Rewind x
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