Friendship

When I first arrived in Sydney, it was a complete reality check for me when I realised that once the boys and The Husband were sorted, well, I needed to sort myself.  I needed to make friends, I needed to get my shiz together and get hmmm, a life.  And that reality check was a long time coming.  Because pre-reality check my days were a blur of tears, boredom, being irrationally grumpy and uncommunicative to the family and just plain loneliness.  Sad but true, sometimes the only people I would speak to in a day were the staff at the local shops where I'd get my bread or meat. (and I still take them all a box of chocolates each year as my small and quiet "thank you" gesture).

So I can hear you saying, why not join a mothers group, or a club or approach groups of mums in playgrounds, and look, that absolutely works for most people and I totally applaud those people brave enough to take that step.  But all my friends out there will be nodding their heads knowingly, thinking "that's just not Lisa".  Because I've always been one to have a small number of excellent friends rather than a large number of good friends.  That's why my FaceBook friends is all of about 60 friends, compared with many hundreds for others.  I'm inherently shy and awkward around large'ish groups of people unless there is a friend I know well there that acts as my "anchor", I'm dead happy to circulate, charm, meet, greet and basically socialise like Jo Everybody, but only if a good friend is there, or The Husband, more often than not now, that I can escape back to and be me, before I duck off back into the throngs.

So one day, not long after my reality check, I was standing at school waiting for pickup, and for those that have done it, school pickups can be very self conscious affairs when you have noone to stand with.  Thankfully I'd always busy myself with Smith and Rafe in the early days, but I knew that I was standing alone.  The ever so pragmatic Husband would normally have said "who cares if you're standing on your own" but he was smart enough to know that I care.

Then I saw her.  I'd heard about her.  I'd heard that they'd just recently arrived from Atlanta and that there was a boy in Will's class who was also new.  She was standing just like me, with a little guy Rafe's age.  I watched her over a few days until I was sure she was who I thought she was. Then I went up to her and said hi, and introduced myself.  She looked relieved and I definitely felt relieved.  And over the next few days we carved out an acquaintance which we cemented into a friendship over wine and the pool and a kids dinner that Friday night.  Three and a half years later, my very dearest friend Kristin is heading back to the States to live.  We have a happy, easy friendship, and I am devastated that our very dear friends are leaving.  But Kristin has been my anchor, I have tentatively reached out and made new friendships, knowing that she was always there and that we had each other.  She has done the same.  

So today I'm about to start packing food, bags and everything we might need for 3 days in a sleepy beach town, just Kristin and all the kids and I.  And we will drink wine, and walk on the beach, and read our books. And I will cherish every minute I have left with her.