Monday, November 15, 2010

Truth is...

Was it Elton John who got it right when he said "sorry seems to be the hardest word.."?  Smart man.

Sometimes "sorry" can be the easiest thing to say..
"Sorry boys, yes it is chicken again tonight, but I've done it a little different this time".
"Sorry love, I know I already have a pair of beige wedge sandals, but these ones are higher and the wedge is made of cork and not wood".
Or even "sorry, I just need 5 minutes of your time before the bell rings to have a chat about (insert)".

Truth is there is absolutely no way I am even remotely sorry in any of those instances.  Just candy floss words - all fluff and sweetness and no substance whatsoever.
But sometimes there are times when "sorry" actually has to categorically-hand-on-your-heart'edly mean "sorry".  And that is when Elton's words ring true.

I had a bad parenting day recently.  I got in a big time hump with my eldest who unwisely chose to have a sort of sickie on a day when I had something planned.  Admittedly my "something" was drinking champagne and watching horse racing, and admittedly he did proceed to get sicker the next day.  But fact was he chose a bad day.  For me.  I think I may have even said "don't choose a day when I have something on to take a sickie". And there is nothing right about that sentence when the audience is only 10 years old.  Nothing.
Instead of embracing a bonus day with my son, I proceeded to get gloomy and sullen.  I sulked and was a martyr. Not my finest parenting hours.
That night when Will was in bed, I popped up to say good night.  I left his room and went half way down the stairs.  I stopped.  I walked back up the stairs and sat on his bed.  I admitted my guilt, I owned up to my crap childish behaviour.  I didn't say any "but"'s.

I said sorry.

And I walked down the stairs feeling like I had reconnected with my humility and with my son.
That time sorry meant more than sorry.


  1. OMG how honest. If only we could all be as honest about some of the crap put our kids through. You're a better person for going back. I've got to admit that I've had to do the same thing on more than one occassion with my eldest. I only hope that he remembers the 'sorry' and not just the reason I was saying it. Thanks for 'keeping it real'. Jacqui

  2. Ah thanks Jacqui. In the past I've been all about making "excuses" for my behaviour, mostly to myself. No more. Thanks for your feedback and for popping by my blog.