Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Parenting 101

Lesson 1: You are the parent. You are the adult.  You are in charge.
I have an 11 year old, he's the apple of my eye, my baby boy. But at times, the power tables have been turned and as I scramble to gain back control, there is passion and noise.  From both of us.  He's his mother's son in looks and temperament.

Lesson 2: You make the rules, you enforce the rules.
Sometimes I look at my babies and think, as they do something they shouldn't, "but he's still my little guy, I'd want a little TV time straight after school if I was him too....", and we free fall to a place where I can only get us back from with passion and noise. Although wanting to apportion blame, I remember Rule No 1, and know that it's my fault we got to that place. And then I think of Lesson No 2 and know that rules are needed.

Lesson 3:  Your kids need to see you having fun and laughing...with them (and not just with your friends with a wine glass in hand).
I'm going to put this one on the fridge door.  As I scramble to get us back from the place we free fell to, I go way overboard on being the adult, the rule maker, the rule enforcer...with way too much passion and noise.  My kids don't see me being silly, or fun, or carefree.  I'm too busy licking my wounds.  I need to not have wounds.

Lesson 4:  Some days are more important than others
I'm at a critical stage with my eldest.  We're at a virtual cross roads.  How I take him across the road and point him in the direction he should go, is vital. I'm setting the scene, creating the stage.  I'm the one coaxing and nudging.  He is a child.  He needs direction, and coaxing and nudging.  He has the world at his feet and is capable of anything.  He just doesn't know that.  I need to show him.  I need to show him him how to be thirsty for it.

Lesson 5: Unconditional love - give it unconditionally, without timeframe, nor negotiation
Now this is the easy one. Tick - done.

This is my mantra, my learning, and my vision...
Do you have any other lessons in your world as a parent, or as a child?

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