Monday, August 13, 2012
Keep On Moving
Do you ever suffer from reverse body dysmorphia? Where you think you look better than you actually do, and then it all comes crashing to ground when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a shop window.
We're living in the teeny tiny house with no mirrors at the moment, and I'm sorry, but a misted over bathroom mirror or a mirror that even the husband has to stand on the bed on his tippy toes to put his contact lenses in don't count. We have no full length mirrors.
I know the importance of a good full length mirror, in fact on our first real "shop" together, when we were supposed to be buying practical stuff like washing machines and toasters, the Husband and I brought a massive full length mirror that can be tilted to give the illusion of elongation. We also brought a small guilt edged mirror. At the end of that shopping trip we were able to tick the 'mirrors" box on our must buy list, but nothing else.
Still with my favourite mirror in storage (along with the rest of my life), and with no mirrors where we're living, I need to rely on shop windows. And it always give that nasty shock when you realise that a) those pants actually are too tight or b) those shoes don't make my legs longer or even c) seriously? You thought this all worked together?
The most confronting times are when I'm running and I see myself in a glass bus stand as I run towards it. I know I am neither elegant nor straight kneed when I run, yet it still surprises me when I see myself. I swore never to run in an event that takes those professional photos, in shorts again. Tights to the knee can hold a multitude of sins, flabby thighs and loose skin included. I only hope that the weather stays cool for my marathon in September, it's hard to suck in your thighs as you run past the camera when the only thought in your mind is survival.
I have many friends with amazeball bodies, that you can't even feel an iota of jealousy because they work hard, and they look fabulous, and hell, they were kind of born that way.
Yes I'd love a number of changes to my body, but medieval torture weapons aside, someone is yet to invent a way to make legs longer.
You all know that I'm training for a marathon in 5 weeks...jaysus, yet sadly, my body is the same as always (on the surface - I'm guessing my knees are saying, "are you kidding us?). I do not look like a skeletal olympic marathon runner, I just look like me. Maybe it's got something to do with my favourite post run recovery of potato chips and chocolate milk, or maybe it's because I run long distances without running out of puff. But the fact is, I feel good about myself because I know I'm doing something. I'm moving, and logic says if you move then you're going to be healthier than if you didn't.
And when you feel good about yourself, everything has a way of mentally firming up. And you smile that little bit more, and your shoulders are pulled back slightly further. And you don't need to be running a marathon, you just need to be moving.
And now I look in those shop mirrors and ignore them . I think to myself; "this is my body I've been born with and I will do everything in my power to make it the best it can be within it's own confines."
It's when I stop believing this and doing this, that trouble starts.
So I don't stop.
Do you get this? What do you do to feel good about yourself?
Postscript; have you EVER seen a worse case of shin wobble than in my photo? I didn't even think it was possible for shins to wobble?