Friday, November 2, 2012


I'm happily linking up with the fabulous group of bloggers hosted by the lovely Sarah at thatspaceinbetween where this week we're talking about remembering.

Now don't shoot me, please, I hate missing a good party, and I would have had to if I hadn't borrowed a little something I whipped up earlier.  But hear me out.  I'm flapstick frantic as we leave for India in 4 days and I have two stories not quite in the safe hands of their editors.  Writing a beautiful blog post may have been my straw.  But this ol blog post is very relevant to me when we talk about remembering, as my remembering tends often to be about my Mum.  And as I leave for 16 days in a country that even I'm a little freaked out by, you can bet your bottom dollar, that somewhere in India, I'll be building a little cairn for my mum to add to the others I've made (or my lovely friends (thanks Leonie) - have made) for her around the globe.  I just hope that it's rocks I use not and dried up cow poo.

So I remember again, my Mum

This is the cairn my friend Leonie built for my Mum at Everest Base Camp - her Mum's cairn is alongside, let's just hope my mother is behaving herself up there
(Blog post from May 2012)

OK, I know you're all over Mothers Day, the Sunday papers with articles about celebrity mothers and their mothers, the endless stream of bloggers blogging about mothers day (ahem), the fact that mothers day should really be renamed Mothers Half Day (as my one seems to end with the "what should we have for lunch" chant), so that's why I've left my own ramblings until now.   Actually it may have had something to do with a garage to be emptied in preparation for our move in 2 weeks time, and 3 school projects to be completed, and an early morning airport trip?  But I'm here now.

So the Sister and I lost our Mum when I was 28 and the Sister was 31. That's many Mothers Days experienced as motherless daughters.  Thankfully our mum met my baby nephew before she died, but sadly didn't see him grow into the awesome young man he is today.  She missed meeting my beautiful niece by 2 years to the dot, and never met my 3 crazies.   She did see me get married, but it turns out it wasn't to quite the right husband.  She missed seeing my second wedding, but she would have loved it, so much more her scene rather than my first.  She never saw my father fall madly and happily in love, which is probably a good thing for all.  And she never saw the lovely funeral, complete with all her touches that the Sister, our father and me steadfastly put together through our grief.  She would have loved it. 
She never got to travel to see her sister in Canada but she did get to travel to Hong Kong to spend alcohol soaked holidays with her other sister.  She even took new local potatoes to Hong Kong.  Who does that?  I bet she tried to smoke in the toilets on the plane or at least think about it.  If anyone was to thumb there nose to rules, it was Mum. 

But she never went anywhere else in the world, apart from Australia, even though she read widely and knew more about the countries I visited than I did.  Her life was too confined in my hometown, but she was too hindered by her health and herself to see the places she might liked to have.  We shudder to think about what would have happened if she did, I think the Sister or I would have needed to travel with her as her minder to stop her getting thrown into a foreign prison, rules, schmules Mum would have thought.

My friends Leonie and Sally are currently treking to Everest Base Camp.  I'm so excited for them.  The night before they left, with only hours to go, they were on Facebook, too nervous too sleep.  I asked Leonie if she'd build a teeny cairn for our Mum at Base Camp.  I've built cairns before on many other times and places but never as incredible as Base Camp. I was so humbled that with so much to do and so many other thoughts on her mind, she agreed, then took time to find out about mum.
Our mum LOVED big skies and rough weather and will be so so happy to have made a tiny mark in the  Himalayas somewhere.  I'm in debt to my generous friends for this gift.  I love that there's a little bit of our Mum somewhere where she'd never to have got to.
Thanks to a whole lot of kindness our Mum will be celebrated this Mothers Day in such a unique and perfect way.  
How do you celebrate your mum and not just on Mothers Day?  


  1. I am so pleased you have these lovely memories of your mother but I am so sorry that she isn't with you to enjoy all those things she should be enjoying with you and your sister.

  2. This is such an incredible testament to your mum. I'm sure that she saw every piece of the funeral as well as every step towards that cairn on Everest and I'm sure she roams wherever she wants now; but still her favorite place, time to time, is by your side

    1. Thank you for your kind words Rory. Sarah's "What I know" topics are going to be refelective and soul searching I'm guessing. Thanks for sharing your story about Adam.

  3. I wish you well on your journey to India. I am sure that Mum will be with your in spirt and mind. Your post about Mother's Day was beautiful.

    1. Thanks so much for your comments and for popping by my blog Denyse. It's nice to be able to share and not just keep it tucked away in my memories.

  4. Wow, I too lost my mom when I was 28. That was almost 20 years ago and I still miss her so much. I love the way you are building little cairns for her all over the world. What a beautiful way to remember and honor her. I hope your trip goes smoothly and you return relaxed and enriched.

  5. A really lovely post with which to honour your mum. I like the idea of building a cairn for her in all the places she never got to see for herself.

  6. Goodness, what a beautiful thing to have happen in her name and honour (the cairn). Wow.

    Lisa, you've left for India today if my calculation of days is correct.... May it be safe and enriching for you! xxx Good luck.