I've been surrounded by teenage boys of late. I'm researching a book concept, and have been working with my big fella's school, talking to gorgeous young men/boys, asking them what they'd say to a younger version of themselves.
My first takeout has been - this is humbling
My second - I want to be that age again and do it all over but so much smarter
My third takeout - I want my boys to be like these boys.
We talk about the benefit of hindsight, of wishing we knew something back then that we know now. So we could have done things differently or paid more attention, or experienced that moment more. And I get that.
I would have let go a little more in my life. I think I regret my restraint, and don't get me wrong I danced on the tables with the best of them, but I think I was too conservative in my approach to life. There was a lovely saying by a lovely reader of The Collective (and seriously if there is ever a magazine that I read word for word, cover to cover, it's this one).
It was Dream Big.
I'm actually dreaming bigger now than I ever have before. Thank friggin god it's not too late to. But I've just stumbled on this by accident and with a little help from serendipity. Maybe I should be talking to older women now and ask them what they regret not doing at my age, and then start doing it.
The boys comments were spine tinglingly awesome. So awesome that I rang my husband straight away with a quivering voice, recounting some of the gems. "We need to get this in from of our boy", he said. "He needs to hear this". And he does and he will.
And out of the mouths of young men come wisdom that can be applied to any age. If these boys are tomorrows leaders, I'm ok with that...
Don't waste time doing nothing - go and hang out with your friends instead
Don't hold back - take every opportunity that you can, try different things
Be more confident
Don't be an idiot, make the right choices
Remain a kid while you can
Make memories, so you can pull them out and look at them in the future.
Do you love these messages from 17 year old's to 13 year olds?
What would you do differently with the benefit of hindsight?
Are you dreaming big and making the most of the now?
Teens are a lot wiser and savvy then you'd believe by reading or watching mainstream media. My teen floors me almost daily. Thanks for sharing this experience Lisa.
ReplyDeleteI'm seeing my own son through different eyes now, and am thankful that I've realised this before I pigeon holed him into what I'm expecting him to be. Love your work too! I think you'll be the voice of wisdom and calmness as I enter these teenage years...
DeleteWhat would I do different? Not much...but it's the things I might not be preparing myself to do as I get older that concern me.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I get this, me too! It's too easy to be complacent and keep life simple!
DeleteWith the benefit of hindsight I would worry less about what people thought of me. I live like that now and have such a happier existence! Dreaming big? I've always known that I can do and have whatever I want as long as I work for it, this was what my parents taught me and I want my three, especially my boys, to know this!
ReplyDeleteYou've got it sorted Emily! Sounds like good role models run in the family! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteLovely wisdom from the boys and you. Our daughter (10) is an aspiring dancer with lots of older girls in the studio - we had their big concert last weekend and throughout the rehearsals got to get to know a few of them - what lovely role models they are for our daughter. The studio has a lovely sense of family, driven by these teenage girls who all care about each other. Teenagers are often so misjudged.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree Kathy, and look how well your daughter has done as a result. I'd love to surround my boy with bigger boys, your daughter is so lucky to be in this environment
DeleteHow lovely to feel so confident in the future based on these boys. Stuff like that makes my heart swell. The bad stuff always makes so much easy press that sometimes the good gets completely forgotten. thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteThanks Rhianna, you're right, we don't get to hear about the lovely everyday things, just the bad, and that's what our children then hear or read about. And unfortunately think that's the norm, or that life is scary out there.
DeleteWow the men of the future lets hope they hang on to such wisdom. What a loevly post ! Thank you
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Sarah, I'm having another workshop this week, and can't wait for more gems of gorgeousness.
DeleteWhat a wonderful idea. Would like to show my teen those comments, but unless its on Tumblr, she probably wouldn't take any notice!
ReplyDeleteI think we should all be made to hang out with teenagers more often. x
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