Monday, August 23, 2010

Love Currency

Ever heard this description?
My lovely friend Jo shared this with me once when I was bleeting on (again) about how I couldn't get through to my kids.  It was like a lightbulb had gone on.  She said, each child has something that is just super important to them, it's the "thing" they value and they're motivated by.  Each child is different and it makes sense that they all have different "love currencies" - there is often no one size fits all incentive.  All are motivated by different rewards.

A-ha!!!!  So Will, my eldest is motivated by financial/tangible incentives - things he can see and touch.  He always has been and always will be I'm guessing.  For example he would walk over glass for a Playstation 3.  Problem for Will is his father flat out refuses on any more electronic distractions, I'm with him on this, but then I hear the other 10 year olds asking "where's your Wii or Playstation" when they come to our house.  My heart sort of clenches as I hear him going to our old lumbering computer and try to crank up a game (that only one can play).

Rafe's love currency on the other hand is   The Husband or me, our time, our attention, us playing cars/lego or anything with him.  That is what he values the most, and that is what motivates him.

And Smith, well he's just too cute and gets whatever he wants anyway...nah, kidding, once again, time and games, if I offered him another dinosaur or a big fat old game of dinosaurs with me, I'm pretty sure he'd take the game.

So tonight, Rafe was having a tough time, he was tired and teary and getting himself into trouble every few minutes, we had a chat, we made a plan, and this photo shows my boat I built alongside his on the floor tonight.  And he went to bed happily.

Have you ever thought about your kids this way?  What makes them motivated?  What's their thing?

Interesting huh!

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