Thursday, September 30, 2010

Date Night.

Do you and your partner have "date night/event/somethings"?  I know it's a overused term, but is there any other term to describe it?  And if there is, everyone knows that what you really mean is that you're having a "date night" anyway.
So The Husband and I have been pretty useless at this up until now, with one of us thinking that sitting on the couch eating spag bol while watching bad TV was quality time together, and the other one thinking it wasn't.  You can see there was a bit of disharmony brewing here.  Ok, a lot.

We were kind of hanging on to a planned trip to Japan in October which, like the one we did in Vietnam last year, would give us a decent chunk of time to reconnect and be like we used to be before three boys came along.  But with these plans postponed for a bit, we knew we needed to pull our socks up and get a bit more focused.  On us.

Amazingly we seem to have got ourselves into an ever so early routine of taking turns setting something small and achievable up.  In a very original fashion, we call it "date night", and interestingly it's not only just the event that feels good, but it's the thought and effort the other person has made to set it up.  It makes you feel focused on and prioritised.  And loved.

One night, I drove manically around the streets of our suburb driving to two bottlo's (god, look at me NZ girls) in search of german wine/beer and apple pie to watch Bruno with - it was my german themed date night, planned and executed with 5 minutes pre-thought.  (Ok not my best effort, but any effort is effort right?).  Last weekend The Husband and I got ourselves a sitter and headed out for a decent 30km ride on our bikes (his flash mountain bike, mine The Tractor), he'd whizz ahead, then hover waiting for me to catch up, or worse, he'd bike behind me, precariously close (in technical terms I think this is called drafting and is very illegal), then when bored, he'd zoom past me and wait 5kms up the road for me to catch up. It didn't matter one bit.  We were together.

Dr Bella Ellwood-Clayton, a sex and relationships commentator, hit the nail smack, bang, wallop on the head, when she said that the core of the family is the adult bond.  This is the example we give to our children of what a healthy, loving and grown-up relationship is all about.  We set the scene for their future relationship models.  And truthfully, do you remember, what sort of example your parents set for you?  Did they make the effort with each other?  Did you get a glimpse of what their lives must have been like before you came along?
Now isn't this a solid, motivating reason to turn off the crap TV and put an effort in.
If you're not doing it already why not gift your children a fabulous example of what a fabulous relationship can be.

I think The Husband is taking me to play tennis on Saturday night.
What date'y kind of things have you done - share the ideas and the inspiration Peeps.


  1. great post Lisa and one I seriously needed to read. Love your date nights and you are so right about setting an example of a fabulous relationship. thanks sista going to put some thought into this,

  2. geeze ..... you have inspired me (again!). Hubby and I use to surf together 3-4 times a week pre-kids - something we LOVED to do. Two kids later I think we may have been out once, maybe twice in the last 4 years. How sad.

    So today I embark on a search for someone to take the kids for a few hours on a weekend morning... for the sake of putting some old skool fun back into the marriage.

    Thanks Lisa...x

  3. Date time is a manic breastfeeding phase. Note to self.....x