Monday, July 30, 2012


Have you ever experienced the sensation of cruising along, life is good, life is normal and then like a jolt, you have that earth shuddering awakening that this isn't the case for everyone.  And that for others, their new normal is full of grief, fear and absolute panic.

This week is Missing Persons Week, I have a friend who works in this area and in particular with families of those who have a loved one who is missing or has disappeared.   She writes about it here with dignity and utmost respect for those involved (and as a gentle sidebar, there are bloggers who make a difference, and she is one).  She is writing each day this week about families who have a family member missing.
Last night I read about Daniel O'Keeffe, and in a heartbeat the shutters shot up.  You see Daniel went missing last July, he had been suffering depression and seemed to have the world at his feet.  Apart from one unconfirmed sighting, he has not been seen since.  Yet.
Last night was wet and cold.  My house was roasty-toasty, the fire was on, as were the Olympics, our bellies were full, my boys bathed and in their pj's. This is probably a similar picture in most homes on a winters night.  Most but not all.
Because somewhere Daniel was maybe sleeping rough, hungry, unwell, scared, confused, although hopefully not.  And somewhere else, his family were probably thinking this.  This is their new normal.

I have experienced loss, and heartbreaking as it was, my mother's death was final.  There was no maybe.  Those families with loved ones missing must live in a constant state of maybe.  Maybe that was him on the CCTV footage? Maybe she's got a new identity? Maybe she just wants a new start?  Maybe he'll come home soon? And if they think of loss, then that's final, and when there is still hope, there is hope.

I always think that I intuitively know where my kids are, they're always in my peripheral somewhere.  I always believe that I could save them from a raging flood, carry them through a burning house, and that I would be their rescuer, their hero, their mother.  The families of those with loved one's missing are doing just that, they are trying to rescue  ...they plea, make appeals, keep images warm, keep momentum going...their rescue effort is unrelenting and focused.  There is only one result.

I'm not sure why I'm attempting to write about this, I am clumsy and uninformed and I apologise for my attempts.  But if clumsy makes a difference, then clumsy it will be.

Please look at here for more information how you can make a difference.

To follow Daniel's story, please go to:


  1. Dan's is a story that has really cut close to home with me. My middle son has suffered from depression for two years and I could be in exactly the same place as Dan's family. It must be heartbreaking to not know. Sometimes I think that being a parent is the hardest job in the world.

    1. Thanks for sharing something so personal Char. You're right, I feel everyday that I'm doing something wrong, or maybe just not right? Kia kaha to your son. Much love x