I love a good clock. The bigger the better, no roman numerals, no lines instead of numbers, just black and white clear numbers on a white background, thank you. I brought a clock when I was getting to know The Husband, it was a slightly illegal sneak out of our office, when I insisted he had to see my clock before I bought it. I know that many of you are raising your eyebrows a little puzzled, but there's a few of you that aren't. The Husband and my story is not one that reads easily, so I won't trouble you with it, or him, or anyone else we left in our wake. But I did appreciate that he convinced me to do the deal on my lovely clock and I love that it now sits on our bookcase in our house, where our boys sleep. This, back then, was a pipedream . Still it's part of our story, and it's a nice clock.
I've just written a story about time, for a lovely friend with a lovely magazine. And during the writing I stumbled across a quote in one of my all time favourite books; The Time Travellers Wife (I know, it's a very polarising, love it or hate it book, well I loved it)
Clock time is our bank manager, tax collector, police inspector;
this inner time is our wife- JB Priestley, Man and Time
And here his wife is his absolute happiness.
In other words, "clock" time is the stuff that has to be done, the non-negotiables, the mundane. And "inner" time is the time spent on things that make you feel joyous, that bring light and happiness into your life and that you look forward to.
Now this I get. There is a difference with how we use time and there is also a difference with how we feel as a result of how we've used that time.
I feel significant satisfaction when I've used "clock" time to sort out the mountains of paper work and I've had a filing fiesta. I feel relieved when I've paid bills, and filled in forms.
But I feel like I can bound off tall buildings when I've used "inner" time and have finished writing a story, I feel calm when I tuck myself into my big white bed at night with my book and my bedside light and my husband, I feel love when I see my little fella waiting poised for the next cricket ball for me to bowl to him. I feel content when I settle beside my pyjama clad boys for a movie night.
Time is not what's different, it's how we use it and how we feel while doing this, that defines it.
The trick is in getting the balance, or perhaps that should be, the imbalance, just perfect.
Do you have enough inner time?