Sunday, January 6, 2013
Another year new year has rolled over. I hope you've enjoyed the end of yours and the start of the next. I am thankful for what 2012 brought me. And I am excited about what 2013 has in store. Each year brings more focus for me - focus on the things that are important to me and focus on what I need to do to achieve them. This last year didn't finish as well as I had hoped for reasons of no interest to anyone apart from me. So I feel I'm starting this year on the back foot a little. Which is a good thing. Because it means I don't casually saunter into the new year, thinking "yeah, I'll do a bit of this and I'll do a bit of that", and vaguely get on my way.
Instead this year I am grabbing it, looking it dead in the eye and giving it the "game on" face.
I have goals, dull, specific but important to me. I have priorities, I have simple needs. I'm the kind of person who randomly lurches along from one thing to the next, I've always joked that this is how my creativity works, lurching and random. Who am I kidding, it's just laziness (and I like to think something not quite wired right in my head). My husband is the Ying to my Yang. He writes lists, he has focus and plans in every area of his life, he writes them, reads them, actions them. He is continually frustrated by my ability to live by vagueness. I've always secretly believed that we get to the same place in the end, but I'm starting to doubt this is true. He carries us, he carries me. We have moments of clarity when I go "I want this and I want that!!!" and he goes "well write it down, make it happen", but I don't and then I forget, and then I lurch a little more. I make excuses for myself - not enough time, too busy with the kids, the house is too messy, I'm on deadline - but everyone, especially me knows this is bullocks.
Well that was then, and this is now.
And 7 days into the new year, I'm feeling the old routine starting to get in the way of my drive. I faff around the kitchen, I empty beach bags, I fold clothes, I pick up stuff, when I should be writing, or planning, and with the Husband back at work today and a house full of kids, I can't see how this can change. But it's going to. Because 2013 doesn't start in January 30 when my kids head back to school and I have my friend Solitude back keeping me company.
2013 starts now.