Sunday, November 27, 2011

Wanting what you've had

Don't you sometimes feel that you haven't realised how much you've loved something until it's over.  It's almost as if when you're actually doing it, you're not aware of how much you're loving it.  And of how much you've missed something when it's over.

Any kind of hard, physical event is like that for me.  I always enjoy the training, and endure whatever the event is, but it's not until it's over do I really miss it.  And want to relive it, and the memory of it.

I've done a couple of bush events over the years, and have spent many, many hours walking or running in the bush trails of Sydney.  It's usually just been with one of my friends.  Her and I train together and we compete together.  When we train, we chat and laugh and encourage each other on.  During our events, we knuckle down, we talk a little, we're focused.  But it's not until after where done and dusted do we reminisce and pat ourselves on the back, for all our training, and hard-arse'ness.  And then I really start to miss it, to miss the bush, to miss the focus.

Am I just loving the memory of something rather than the reality of it?

I don't think so.  I think it's a case, that maybe you're not in the moment when you're experiencing it, rather you're letting it wash over you, engulf you, surround you, and it's not until it's over, and with clear eyes you look back, and say, wasn't that incredible.

Holidays are like that sometimes.

The Husband and I went on holiday to Thailand earlier this year.  We had an awesome time, had adventures, had a little luxury, had a lot of relaxing and had a lot of us time.  It's only afterwards that  I realise how amazing that  holiday was.  I yearn for it again.  A family holiday in Fiji last year, was the same.  We all talk about that holiday with yearning.  Wanting to repeat it but knowing there was just a little something that made that time so special.

I'm not sure where this is coming from - I think my point is, do we need to be more in the moment when we're having what will become a personally "significant experience'.  Or will this take away a little of it's magic by analysing and labelling it.  Will it put too much pressure on that time to be "significant" rather than just be.

Are you getting me?

Have you had any experiences like this?

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