Do you ever feel a burst of manic I'm-a-gonna-take-on-the-world'ness? Maybe it's because I've been in a fugue because of my living arrangements and I'm feeling energised and time-rich again. Or maybe it's like when you've had a gastro and you can't ever imagine feeling well, and then you do, and you feel like a gazillion dollars again and you want to go hard.
Maybe that's what I've got. I'm coming through, and now I want to go hard. Truth be told I'm a little panic'y that I'm not doing "enough". We all have our own interpretations of what "enough" is. I have a mental to-do list chocka-block full of stuff. And not "pay the gas bill" kind of stuff, but my big stuff. I'm running a marathon in 13 weeks, I thought I'd be at a different place that where I am now with my training and have had some serious self-doubts that I'm actually going to get there. I never have self-doubts. Never. In all the events I've done I just rock up and get busy. A marathon is a bit of an Everest to me. I just need to do the right training to climb it.
My writing, gad I just can't type fast enough, I just want to go, go, go. I am going to do this, although the perennial self doubt of "what if I run out of ideas" always nags at me. But I am writing and I will not stop.
I have a massive few months coming up. Including yet another house move in 4-6 weeks.
But I'm excited. Because my fugue is gone, and once again I'm writing and running.
The question for both will be can I do them faster?
How do you get rid of your fugue? Are you "taking on the world" in your world?
trying to writerly friend...trying to. Nice to see you back x
ReplyDeleteYep sure am ! The transition from a casual blog to a self hosted website has been energizing and consuming - all I want to do is tell everyone about nomorepastrami and how we can all make a difference in the world. But alas it doesn't pay the bills (well it doesn't pay anything actually) and paid work and those dependent children demand my attention! But I still fit it in because it's my "taking on the world"!
ReplyDeleteLoving your work Julie, you are a warrior fighting a battle against apathy and making a difference as you go. Seriously folks, http://www.nomorepastrami.com/ go look. spend some time.
DeleteI'm not taking on the world - just the medical system for the moment. #2 son was in a work accident and we're having to go to appointments and have x rays and fill out forms and make statements to the police and insurance people. It's just insane - especially when no one tells you what is needed.
ReplyDeleteOnce I sort out the medical system, however, I'm sure I'll be ready to take on the world.
Oh Lordy Char, how stressful, hope Son#2 is ok? Taking on the medical system is like taking on the world isn't it! Phew, go girl!
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